SPOILER ALERT: Don't read unless you've read the whole damned series and are skulking around your house, finding meaning in nothing and wondering when they're going to come and take you away in the straight jacket.
Oh the withdrawal is horrifying! Why didn't anyone WARN me?!? Even Diana Gabaldon's tremendous "Methadone List" can't help me now. I am a mess.
So many questions...
WHAT does Mrs. Jones think of Christian's antics?
WHO cleans the toys now?
WHY is Mrs. Robinson/Mary Kay LeTourneau such a freak?
WHEN is E.L. James going to write all of this from Christian's POV?
HOW am I supposed to live without you....now that I've been loving you sooo longgg...
(Sorry; rarely do I spontaneously break into Michael Bolton; I'll try to avoid that in the future.)
Seriously people...I need a chat. I need a HUGE, MFing FIFTY CHAT with LOTS of people discussing all of this stuff that is swirling around in my head.
Where does Christian order all this kinky fuckery shiz? Online, right? Does he have it sent to a different name? Who unpacks the box? The man can't even make himself a sandwich...am I supposed to believe he owns a box cutter and knows what to do with said box once he's finished with it? Ohhhh right. Mrs. Jones. Well come on now...does she unwrap everything and rinse and dry it and place it in the drawers and hooks where it belongs...and then scurry off to fold Christian's Calvin Klein boxers??
For the love of god, people...I NEED ANSWERS!
Worse yet...I NEED MORE FIFTY!!!