SPOILER ALERT: I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM IN FIFTY SHADES FREED BUT I'VE GOT 1/4 LEFT AND SOME SERIOUSLY SHOUTY CAPITAL SHIT IS GOING DOWN!!!!
Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!!!!! Jack's got Mia...or SAYS he has Mia...and DUMBASS ANA is taking 5 million dollars (5 MILLION dollars...5 million DOLLARS) out of the bank...and the bank manager called Christian...and he asked if she was leaving him...
AND SHE SAID YES! ohnoohnoohnooooo! I don't know whether I want to beat her - or hug her - right now!!! Why isn't she telling Christian?? Everyone knows you don't let the kidnappers have the upper hand! You can't handle this alone! What if Jack doesn't even HAVE Mia??? But what if he DOES???
And girlfriend's got a revolver tucked in the back of her jeans like she's Tommy Lee Jones in any number of testosterone-laden films.
OHMYGOD! Little Blip, you'd better hang on tight because there is going to be some SERIOUSLY KINKY MAKEUP FUCKERY going on when your daddy finds out your mommy lied to save his sister.
HOLY SHIT and I was just complaining! Don't get me wrong - Christian and his antics are still on my LAST nerve (I mean, really...not talking to Ana when YOU'RE the one who sought out Mary Kay LeTourneau after your fight?!?! Boyfriend - grow the fuck UP). But this is even better than when he showed up in Georgia!